Issue of September 16, 1999: Volume 83,
Number One
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Special Memorial Edition--In Loving Memory of the five freinds we lost on August 29, 1999: Sharon Bjornstad, Leah Feldhaus, Matt Lopez, Carissa Casteneda, and Nicole Martell.
Front Page Intro by Marisa Gutierrez
Internet Remembrance Tree
Poem --"Leah" by Amy Yarnall
"Lost" by Daniel Ilgenfritz
Poem--"What's Real" by Justin Spears
Remembrance by Jason Valenzuela
"God Has Set My Spirit Free"
Remembrance by Julie Connor
To one who is fortunate enough to experience all the splendors that life has to bestow, youth is like a blossom on the threshold of ripeness . . . old age is hindered by the pure innocence of a childlike heart; life itself is amplified by a supernatural brilliance that makes it seem endless. But now, the vibrant blossom has withered away, the childlike heart has ceased to throb, and the uncanny brilliance of this temporal life has diminished to reveal the dark reality that it once courageously defied.
All of our youthful ideals were abruptly crushed on that fateful Sunday morning when the lives of Carissa Castaneda, Sharon Bjornstad, Matthew Lopez, Leah Feldhaus, and Nicole Martell were taken from this world. As a way to comfort those who were greatly affected by this horrendous incident, we at the Pepper Bough have dedicated this issue to those we have loved and lost. Inside you will find remembrances, poetry, and photos. Both Leah and Sharon were members of the Pepper Bough staff, and we’d like to think they would approve of such an effort.
Perhaps remembering the good times that we shared with our friends will be a remedy to our sorrow; it will not make us forget the loss, but will allow us to acknowledge what we have gained from knowing them.
All of these amazing individuals will always hold a place in our hearts, and as long as we remember them as they were, then their memory is bound to remain forever.
---Marisa Gutierrez
The following remembrances were taken from an internet e-mail “tree” started by Ariana Flores . . .
Leah Feldhaus was the nicest sweetest person I knew, one of my good friends and will still always be...I love ya Leah
--Ariana FloresI knew a couple of people in the accident, Sharon Bjornstad and Leah Feldhaus. There were 3 other people: Matt Lopez (Sharon’s boyfriend), Carissa Castaneda, and Nicole Martell. I can’t believe that this could happen to such young and wonderful people. My hearts go out to all of their families. I will be praying for everyone that these young people were touched by.
--Shannon ComerI knew Sharon Bjornstad and Carissa Castaneda. Sharon and I went to Junior High together and Carissa and I had class together last year. Carissa was the nicest person that you would have ever met. I would just like to just warn all of you of the dangers of driving under any type of substance. When you go out please be safe and if you do drink have a designated driver just in case. Who knew that this would happen. I mean, I just saw Sharon two weeks ago when we were in line to get our senior schedules. My thoughts and prayers go out to all of their families. Please be safe ...
--Therese GaitherI knew Matt and Leah. I hope that God will take them in and let them be happy.
--Paul AndrewsMatt Lopez and I had a class together last year. We got to know each other very well. He became one of my close guy friends. He always knew how to cheer me up. I only met Sharon a few times, but Matt talked about her so much that I felt like I knew her. He loved her so much and so did many others. I didn’t know the other individuals in the car but my prayers are with them all. As Matt would say, Remember the meaning of P. L.U.R—which means peace, love, unity, and respect. Hope everyone learns from this. I love you guys!!!
--Erin Rendleman
I really didn’t know them all that well. I had talked to Matt a few times, and if we saw each other in the halls we would say Hi, or just smile to each other. I used to talk to Carissa a few years ago, but I hadn’t recently. I had talked to Leah a little bit when she was in 8th grade, and I never really knew Sharon. The only time I had talked to her is when she would call for my brother. They always had smiles on their faces, they were happy and funny people. It’s really hard to see them gone. But I know that God did this for a reason, and that he’s in control. He will be there to comfort all those who are hurting. My prayers go out to the family and friends.
--Katie Weening
I knew all of them. I had Academic Competition with Sharon. I met Matt through her, because he would always walk her to class. We would say Hi to each other in the halls if we saw one another. I knew Leah through a friend who used to go out with her. She was also a student in a class that I was a TA for. I went to Jr. High with Carissa, and she was in my US History class last year. Sharon was always smiling, I don’t remember seeing her unhappy. I don’t think she had the heart to be mad or mean to anyone. Matt was a sweet guy and they were always happy together. Carissa and I weren’t on the best terms, but she was a nice person. Leah was just darling.
--Hillary Schmitt
The only person I knew in the car was Sharon. I had her in my Academic Comp. class and no matter what she came in a cheerful mood. She really lifted the spirits of the entire class. I feel for each person in the car and for their families. It is horrible that we had to lose any of them.
--Stephanie Patrick
I knew Sharon and Matt. They were amazing people, the kind of people everyone wanted to know, to have as a friend. The kind of people you want to be. Sharon always new just what to say to make me feel a little more special...it’s sad that by losing her a little sunshine is lost from so many lives. We lost more than friends...my thoughts are with all the families and friends who understand this loss. It’s too great for words.
--Kelly BadenI knew Sharon, Matt, and Leah. It is so hard to try to sum up what I feel about our friends that we lost in just a small paragraph. They were the nicest people I had ever had the opportunity to meet. I could never picture their faces without a smile. They were always so nice and friendly to everyone. Matt and Sharon were soul mates. Leah was an angel; she was so pretty. I thank GOD for giving me the opportunity to meet such great people. They truly were the best. Now they are home where they belong, with GOD in his wonderful kingdom. Sharon, Matt and Leah, I love and miss you guys so much and wait for the day that I will have the chance to see those bright smiles that you guys always had. (And to any one that says that Sharon was under the influence, she wasn’t ...if you know any thing about her you would know.)
--Randy Saldana
Matt, Carissa, Sharon, Leah, were friends of my kids and this has had a powerful impact on our family. All of my kids were affected. I feel for the families of the children who died. I pray for peace at the school.
--Teri Bonner, mother of Rick, class of ’97, Katie, class of ’98, Rebekah, class of 2001I’ve known Carissa Casteneda since I was a little girl. I can’t believe I won’t be seeing her anymore. It still doesn’t seem real to me. I used to see Sharon all the time in the video store that I used to work at. Her mother was my brother’s first grade teacher. Though I didn’t know Matt at all, he is the cousin of one of my good friends. I live in a S-M-A-L-L town, and now, our town and a couple of other local towns are grieving the loss of 5 kids. My thoughts and prayers are with Carissa, Sharon, Matt, Leah and Nicole...and also with their family and friends. Please kids, if you are just getting into the scene, be careful....parties are fun, but they aren’t worth losing your life over.
--Emily LeMayWhen I found out about this I was deeply shocked and sad. I knew Carissa from friends and through soccer at Colton High. I know many of her friends were my friends and I can’t even imagine what you guys are going through right now. Also I knew who Sharon was because my boyfriend’s best friend Derek went to Prom with her our senior year. She was a friendly, beautiful person. I would just like to share my prayers to the families and the friends of all of them. Hopefully we have all learned from this tragic event. God Bless.
--Kristi Gallo
I heard about this tragic news only a few days ago. My mother happened to mention it to me when we were on the phone. Then a few days later, I received an email from Colton High’s Pepper Bough Advisor Dave Rainey—he informed former editors of the paper about the horrible event and how what paper is doing to help the school cope with the misfortune. At first, I was in disbelief that something of this magnitude would occur to Colton High students. I though, “No way! It must be kids from another school.” But indeed, when I saw the name SHARON BJORNSTAD on the list of the deceased, I was awe-stricken. I met this highly spirited girl about three years ago, when I was a junior. My senior year I was editor-in-chief of the Pepper Bough and Sharon was a staff writer. We also had Academic Competition together. Although we never became good friends, we knew each other from afar. I always thought she was a bright, beautiful, and talented person. It is unfortunate that God dealt her this deck of cards, but we must all remember that she is in a better place right now. My sincere blessings and prayers go out to her family and friends.
--Ana Nayelli Gonzalez
Anyone to have known these people would agree that they have the privilege to know five incredible human beings. I didn’t know four of the five but from what I have heard, they were all wonderful people who touched many lives. But I did know Sharon. She was one of the girls that stood out from the rest. Not just with appearance (although her smile could fill the room) but with a respect for people in and around her. I had the honor of having Sharon in Academic Comp. in high school, and we would talk on occasions, cracking jokes and her making me smile. She also wrote for the Pepper Bough, our school’s newspaper, and had a talent for writing among many other things. To say that she was a great person is an understatement. Words cannot describe the pain I have been witnessed to the last couple of days, but through time and care all the family and friends will get through this tragedy. I spoke to Sharon’s father and I couldn’t agree more when he said “Sharon is a good person, all five were good people, and all these people around are good people.” God Bless.
--Tariq Warsi
LeahThere was once a girl that as a school we knew
She was the one I couldn’t help but say I love you too!
I saw her change from long hair to short,
Colors ranged from burgundy to brown, to red
and all in between.
Whenever she smiled
her face couldn’t help but turn scarlet and gleam.
Who would of known that behind that
“I don’t want to work attitude”
There was an intelligence that poured out in multitude.She is gone; but that doesn’t mean we have to forget.
To live in the big wide sky where her limits are
the heavens is where she was meant.
God has her now cradled in his arms
Keeping her safe from all mortal harm.Never will her smiles disappear.
Never will we say she wasn’t dear.
Her charm, wit and soul
The Lord now truly holds.Faith- for hope that she no longer suffers.
A place- to hold her memory that will never fade.
Strength- that we may live through this life
if only to meet her in the next.
For all this and thousands more
We have
GOD,
WHO IS ALWAYS THERE TO OPEN ANOTHER DOOR.--Amy Yarnall
LostIn Memory Of Sharon Bjornstad
In a world where anything and everything we hold dear can be torn away at any given moment, it’s strange that we never really think of it. But when something is violently torn away from you that way, you have to think of it, or it’ll sit inside your head and rot things from the inside out. Nothing is lucid or composed at the moment, the only true thing is “why”? How? How on earth does something like this happen? One instant and what you care about is stricken off the planet. I still can’t even grasp it, not all of it. I lost my belief in God a long time ago. That’s part of what comes to me now. How could anyone or anything have the right to do that? Maybe the worst part is how it happened. Had it been under different circumstances, maybe it would’ve been better, even as it was worse. Drunk or stoned, something. At least then, something could be blamed. But this way...no. Nothing should happen this way. Nothing. Not a damn thing. All I can think of is how, but I don’t think I’ll ever figure that out. For years I’ve tried to live up to the saying that you should live your life like each day was your last. I never achieved that, because I could never convince myself that that last day really could be tommorrow. Maybe now I can. In a world where anything can be destroyed in an instant, that’s all we can really hope to do. Each day really could be the last. Maybe now I can convince myself that tommorrow may very well be that last day I have, or that of anyone else. We have to learn how to spend our days like that, because maybe that’s the only real way to fight that world where anything can be lost.
“Still it’s hard
Hard to see
Fragile lives
Shattered dreams”
--Daniel Ilgenfritz
Whats RealHeard from the source that night had come now on this day
A good 50 lives will never be the same.
For us now is a time for rebuilding 4 gods: memories souls drifting
giving us light to be seen. They look from the kings
window now without a care in the world but us.
As we stand at the gate waving and smiling
Well wake up its not rite
That still happened last night ya thats riteWe should never put kids in the ground!
Its going to be hard with our friends in the ground!
Why do all the best go down?I’ll tell you what’s real- Love is real friends, Laughing,
AND Tears-- thats all real. The lost we had but not out of sight
always been seen through the light. You tell me Whats rite
4 friends one night tell how that rite One nite
all in one nite
Why do all the best go down?For now we’ll sit with friends talk about drums and smiles
once and again. Till the day we rise and see you again.
4 us that truly believe will now your there from the tug
on the sleeve.
I never said bye and it’s not coming out now cause your
not gone. We will stay proud.4 drew and the king and the ladies of our hearts I can’t
say goodnite till we really depart i know you saw us giving
are hearts all of us teary and falling apart. did you haveto go for those who past so quick when I go make sure with
casket walk real slow THATS REAL!
We should never put kids in the ground!
Its going to be hard with our friends in the ground!
Why do all the best go down?
Why do all the best go down???4:23 not asleep black bags on my eyes numb to my feet
4:23 never asleep can’t stop crying can’t even speak....In loving memory of our friends Sharon, Matt, Leah, Carissa
THATS REAL!
---Justin Spears
As I came into my first class of the day, on the first day of school and looked around I could only think that Sharon was going to be late to class again. She often was, but then I heard what happened. I didn’t shed a tear, but I wish I could have. I wish now that I could have cried, that the tears would come, but they didn’t.
Maybe it was the anger I felt inside, anger at the world for being unfair, or anger at the people who tried to tell me how I should be handling things. But we all grieve in our own way, some people with tears on the outside to accompany the pain within, and others only with the pain that will last forever in their hearts.
I only knew Sharon four years, I was neither her closest or her oldest friend, but I was her friend and I won’t deny that I loved her in my own way, and wish now that I had told her that. I won’t say that the best of my experiences were all with her. I can’t even say that I spent that much time with her. I can say the time I did spend with her is among the best of my experiences and that the time I had with her I will cherish.
I will miss Sharon for all she was and remember her always. But I can’t help but wonder what she could have been, what she never will be. But, then I have to realize that what has past is past, and that there is nothing that I can do about. Unlike some others who can believe without question that Sharon and the others are in a better place, I do question, but I also know that she will always be in my heart and memory.
My only wish is that I could display how I felt about her better. I thought of writing it in poetry, but realized I would never be satisfied with how things would turn out. I probably will still write something, but I know words won’t ever truly tell how I felt in my heart, how I will always feel.
--Jason Valenzuela
God Has Set My Spirit Free . . .God has set my spirit free
Please try not to cry over me
I’ll be watching you from the heavens above
And still show you my special love
When you look at the stars
Please remember I’m not far
I’ve left you a smile
And my heart for you to remember me
God has set my spirit free
I’ll always be close to you
Close to your heart
Now that God has set me free
Please try not to forget me--Amany Hajyassin
Sitting here in the Journalism room I stare at a blinking cursor on a blank computer screen. My page is titled “Leah”. So I think about her. I think of the awkward emptiness I feel. She’s not hounding me to hurry up with my story so we can blow this joint and go to breakfast. She’s not telling me about her weekend beach trip or her flavor of the week. I can feel the silence. So I continue to think about her. She wanted to be a journalist. She was going to write about music. But her drive went way deeper than that. It wasn’t just the writing, she was going to talk to the artists, find out what they were all about and where they were coming from. She wanted their perspective on life. Because maybe it was different than hers and maybe she would learn something. She didn’t need to become a journalist to fulfill this dream. She did it everyday when she walked into room 103 five minutes late. She became everything she wanted to be every time she said, “Hey Connor, why do you go to church?” or “Why do you feel like that about that person?” or whatever the question was. She had an interest in people that bought her a lot of friends and good times.
Leah could make you feel like whatever was wrong in your life probably wasn’t that bad, and if it was it wasn’t anything that chilli cheese fries couldn’t heal. She was the type of kicked back person that knew how to handle life and enjoy the ride. If there’s one thing I learned from Leah through example rather than words it was that no matter what kind of cards you’re dealt you gotta play them with a smile because chances are you’ll never get that hand again.
Behind her quick smile and easy laugh was this meticulous mind always at work. Always trying to search deeper. Deeper in people, in literature, in songs, in her entire environment. There was a lot of depth to her personality and character that she didn’t show to a lot of people. Leah had a love of life and laughter.
Anyone who knew Leah knows that these words don’t do her justice. Through these last couple weeks there are a lot of people who have become a lot closer because we’ve had to help each other through this. Our strength was in each other not in the crisis team or counselors. (Not that we didn’t appreciate the help but tootsie rolls and crayons didn’t work for me.) I hope we all remember what Sharon, Matt and Leah had in common. They lived life. They appreciated it and all the opportunities that this life affords us.
--Julie Connor