AP class load
By James Walker
Oct. 28, 2004

    Seeing as you all go to Colton High, the chances are high that you know at least one person who takes an AP class. This school has a wide variety of them, from AP versions of required classes to pre-AP classes (honors) instead of your regularly required classes, and in comparison to some schools, a good percentage of the school takes them.
    But really, this is only true in the beginning of the year. From day one people start dropping their AP classes for one reason or another, many because they feel they can't handle it, some because they think they need the A, or because they felt pressured to leave the class by the teacher.
    None of the teachers really think that they pressure their students, though as teacher Mitzi Abbot of AP English IV says, "No, we have a very open policy [about AP classes]; we encourage them to stay, but we're very realistic." And some don't even think that much, such as AP Spanish teacher Noe Montesinos, who when asked whether he had pressured students to leave coolly answered, "Never."
    Most of the students who stayed in the class shared this opinion. As senior Kaleena Gomez, taking AP Statistics, said, "No, because the only other option was Pre-cal, and I did not want to make all those stupid graphs." And those who did leave left for other reasons, such as senior Lizelle Guitierrez who dropped AP English IV: "I just didn't want to do all those panels."
    For those people who stayed, they have quite a bit on their plate. I inquired as to what the workload for one of these classes was on a scale from 1 to 10, with 10 being the highest, and I got several different answers. Senior Angela Alarcia, taking AP Calculus, said, "I rate it around 8. The homework isn't a big part of the class, but you have to think a lot." And some didn't think much of it at all, such as senior Amanda Tucker, who takes AP Biology, who took it in stride, "[I give it a] 4 or 5, the only homework we have are essays and quizzes that we do online." I also asked about the stress level, but it was mostly the same.
    Next, I asked the teachers and students what they would say to those who dropped the class, for whatever reason. Some students who took these classes, like senior Elanor Gomez, who is taking AP Economics, had this to say about the people who dropped AP Econ: "You're lazy. Anyone can do that class, even me with no time."
    The teachers were slightly more sympathetic, such as AP Biology teacher Luis Checo: "[I think] good choice to [those who did and didn't drop.] If you think you are not able to handle the pressure then AP is not for you; yet if you can handle it, you will enjoy a higher level that hopefully will be easier than [busyworking]."
    So in the end it really seemed that AP classes were hard, but rather easy. Rather paradoxical.

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Party Platform
By Sarah Hofman
Oct. 28, 2004

President Bush's record:
--Opposes abortion except for narrow circumstances such as, rape, incest, or threats on a women's life; a"right-to-life" platform.
--Approved record deficits in a time of recession, war, terrorism and tax cuts. $521 billion deficit is the plan for this year.
--Supports the death penalty because he feels that it saves people's lives.
--Toughened standards for teachers, schools and student achievement. Federal spending on education has jumped nearly 50 percent since Bush took office.
--Supports oil drilling in the Alaska National Wildlife Refuge, Opposes using the hundreds of million barrels of petroleum oil in reserves.
--Opposes raising mileage requirements on carmakers. Opposes raising the gasoline tax to curb consumption.
--Called for an amendment that would ban same sex marriages. Firm position on civil union, but would leave it up to states. Says homosexuality is "incompatible" with military services.
--Favors granting gun makers immunity from civil lawsuits. Supports extending a ban on assault-weapons, which expired in September, requires a background check on gun shows.
--Opposes giving illegal immigrants an "automatic path to citizenship."
--In Iraq, the president oversaw a swift military victory followed by a violent aftermath
--He says he regularly seeks guidance from God and opposes movements to remove religion from public life.
--Would give younger workers the option of putting part of their payroll tax into personal retirement accounts, giving them a chance to make a higher return on that investment in return for smaller Social Security benefits.
Senator Kerry's stands:
--Supports legal abortion. Endorses family planning and health insurance plans that provide abortion.
--Says he would cut deficit by half, at least, in first term, in part through repeal of Bush tax cuts for wealthier Americans.
--Opposes the death penalty except in extreme instances of terrorism, saying they are racially biased and flawed in their application.
--Would establish a program that would pay for the equivalent of four-year college tuition if high school students would do 2 years of national services. Supports Bush's educational goals, but says too much emphasis is put on testing scores.
--Favors raising car mileage requirements to 36 mpg by 2015. Opposes raising the gasoline tax to curb consumption. Supports a goal of meeting 20 percent of the demand for motor fuel with ethanol, biodiesel and hydrogen by 2010.
--Opposes same sex marriages but also opposes an amendment to ban it. Sponsored the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, which bans job discrimination against homosexuals. Supports including gays and lesbians in the protections of the Federal Hate Crimes Law.
--Doesn't support granting gun makers immunity. Supports the ban on assault weapons, supports background checks on gun shows.
--He has a four-point plant to deal with post-war Iraq but no deadline for U.S. troops to be withdrawn.
--Kerry has said it is important to stand up for separation of church and state. Says he will make decisions as "obligation to all the people of our country and to the Constitution of the United States."
--Opposes partial privatization of Social Security. Would require companies switching to cheaper lump-sum pension plans to offer retiring workers the choice of staying with traditional company pension.

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BSN: We're not too old to go trick or treating
By Julia Arenas
Oct. 28, 2004

Too old to go trick or treating? How about, "Do I want to go out and get free candy, and hang out with friends at the same time?" However you want to cut it, it always dices out to getting free candy. Of course we're not too old to go out to have fun trick or treating! And who doesn't want candy, and not just any candy, but free candy. And candy's great , right? Sure it is, why else would everyone look forward to Halloween? It's a time to put a mask over your face for a day and just pretend to be someone else. And we're lucky nowadays-had it been 2,500 years ago you would have been forced to participate in Halloween, or what they called The Festival of Death. Pagan priests called Druids would dress up in dark robes, (costumes), and would go house-to-house demanding food for their special diets (treating). If you did not have what they wanted your house could be cursed, or a family member could be taken for a sacrifice (trick). Pretty extreme, huh? In our case we are not forced to participate in Halloween, unfortunately, and we don't have to suffer the consequences. How great is that? ! So be willing participate in the fun, get free stuff, and don't get our heads chopped off. Nice.
My point is, if you didn't already get it, you have two choices, choose the more funner one. (Funner? Is that even a word?) At any rate, it's no contest! Well, it could be if it were a Halloween contest! Ok, ok, dorkiness turned off officially. But everyone could use some of that dorkiness and let go on Halloween. There are so many restraints these days, you can't do what you want because it will seem "uncool" to do such a "kid" thing. Since when do kids get to grab all the candy and the fun? Because before you know it, you really will be too old to go out and trick or treat. You're going to look like a pretty big freak, dressed up and a foot taller than everyone else. So everyone, I hope your will listen to me and trick or treat with friends, little brothers and sisters, and everyone else.

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BSN: We're too old to go trick or treating
By Sean Durdle
Oct. 28, 2004

What is the so cool about trick or treating? The whole idea is about kids dressing up and doing "kid" things. Going from door to door to beg for candy isn't exactly what I call a good time. Sure, it was fun when we were little, but we're not in elementary school anymore. Trick or treating now just seems so juvenile. Seriously, what are you going to do with a month's worth of candy? Unless you have great metabolism like you did when you were a kid, it is just going to make you gain weight and break out. And I know we are all looking forward to having that happen to us.
    Remember seeing all those "big kids" trick or treating when we were little? Yeah, they were weird from out point of view. If you do go out house to house you have to put up with the weird looks from the people who are giving you the candy and hear them say, "Aren't you a little old to be trick or treating?" Besides, we're in high school now, why go parading around on the streets when you can go to parties and chill with friends? You can't come all this way and then go back to doing kid activities. I'm sure we all can think of other things to do besides running around going doorstep to doorstep on Halloween. It would be just as fun to order a few pizzas and watch some horror movies with friends.
     I'm not saying don't celebrate Halloween, just do something else than asking for candy from strangers with a bunch of little kids. Halloween is about the scary and unknown, not about dressing up like a Powerpuff Girl or Spongebob. Halloween is about scaring people and having a good creepy time. So get off the streets and go celebrate with some friends. Try to scare the little kids who are coming up to the door (they're the easiest).

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Change is mandatory and growth is optional
By Shauna Pardo
Oct. 28, 2004

Now I know everyone is dying to know how principal Harry "Doc" Ervin thinks. I asked Principal Ervin to pick a quote out that means something to him on a more emotional basis.
                        " Change is mandatory and growth is optional"
    HIS INTERPRTATION: " People this year have spent so much energy arguing and fighting the new, but old rules, that they don't use that energy to grow… I just see it as refocusing your efforts, but people see it as doing something different… I am here for the kids, that's why I took the job, I'm not here for the adults; I'm not here for the parents; I am here for the students. Colton does have some very outstanding, respectful, and courteous students."
    MY INTERPRETATION: Now my interpretation is the same for the quote. Change is inevitable, change must happen, what you decide to do with it is your option. You can either try to make the best of that change or fight against it and get absolutely nowhere. I also believe what Principal Ervin says, he is here for the students. I went in to do this interview with him, although it wasn't the best time for him. (He's a busy man!) I was the only student in the office, with the teachers crowding and waiting to have a word with him. He came out of the office and asked to speak with me before anyone else. Despite disagreements with some issues that all students are concerned with, he was happy to answer all of my questions. I then understood what he meant when he said that we had to grow with change, because we all know we don't get a lot of what we want when it comes to rules, but we should try our best efforts towards it. Believe me, I as a senior was pretty outraged to hear about the old but newly enforced rules because everyone knows I like to tie my shirts, be fashionably late and refuse to pay consequences, but that doesn't mean I'm going to make my senior year any worse than it has to be. We all can attempt to make for the best.

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Durd is the Word
By Sean Durdle
Oct. 28, 2004

    So I finally got a column in the school newspaper, where I can talk about anything that I want. So hopefully you read my column, because thats why I wrote it.
    First I would like to get started of by mentioning some of my favorite movies. To Start it off, I have to list some great movie classics (at least they're classics in my mind) like The Godfather Part II, the Star Wars trilogy, Fight Club, Reservoir Dogs, and the Indiana Jones and Back to the Future series. Other movies I feel that are worth mentioning are Dumb and Dumber, Boondock Saints, Requiem for a Dream and Clerks the movie. The director of Resevoir Dogs (Quentin Tarantino) is one of my favorites. Not only does he add smart humor in his dialogue he has great style and execution of his movies. I can honestly say that i like every movie that he has directed. One of my top two movies is the The Hunted with Benicio Del Toro and Tommy Lee Jones simply for the knife fight at the end. If you're a fan of knife fights and violence check it out. And my number one favorite movie is (drum roll) Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. This movie has inspired me on so many levels. The movie is based on a book written by Hunter S. Thompson who under a different name is the main character of the story. In real life, Thompson was a freelance, political journalist. His style of writing has affected the way that I write and view things. Also the soundtrack for the movie is totally cool and I felt worth buying. I'll get into my musical preferences some other time, this is my movie special.
    Since this is Halloween season it only seems right to talk about some Horror Films. The Exorcist, The Cell and Ravenous are some good movies to check out for a Halloween night. In my personal opinion The Shining and Event Horizon are two of the best horror films ever made. Stanley Kubrick's The Shining is put together so brilliantly, it amazes me every time I see it. Event Horizon, even though a little cheesy, I think was a really crazy movie. I am a big fan of fictional movies, so I liked this one. If you haven't seen it, i suggest you at least check it out.
    Well, as in the immortal words of Dave Chappelle, "Zip it Up and Zip it Out." Peace.

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Michelle's Manifesto
By Michelle Choiselat
Oct. 28, 2004

    I love Halloween. What's not to love? The monsters and goblins are "allowed" to come out, the amusement parks get into the season by decorating the entire park to freak people out. Plus, you get to be someone else for an entire night, and you're rewarded with free candy for doing so. And, if you happen to still look like a pre-teen (ahem, someone like me!), you can milk your childish good looks for all you can because people don't judge you and don't think that you're too old to go trick o' treating.
    Still, I can't help but think, maybe it's time I ought to "grow up" and start going to Halloween parties where we'd drink spiked punch and watch scary movies. The atmosphere is spooky at best and I'd be surrounded by good company, but it seems to me there's something lacking. I can't think of what it is…oh I know, FREE CANDY!! How can you not see the beauty in that? People (except of course for the old ladies who give you pennies or apples) are investing five to twenty bucks to reward your immaturity (I like to think of it as getting in touch with my inner child) with heaven for your mouth. There's no other way to put it; it's sheer heaven. Whether you're five years old or eighty-five, candy is one thing the world can agree on.    And what about the disguise? For one day, you could be "Mr. T" and it would be cool with everyone. Dress like him and "pitying the fools" of Colton High on any other day and you'd probably be brutally beaten. Or, rather than "be" someone else, you can pull some drastic change in appearance, and your friends won't say something like, "Ohmigosh, like, we're not at the Academy Awards, honey." They'd accept it for the day.
    Whatever you do this Halloween, have fun. Nothing is worse than someone taking their lives so seriously that they want to just cry after finding out that someone stole their idea for being "Mr. T." Also, be careful. I won't preach the "rules" to you, because, at this age, I'm sure you already know what they are (carry a flashlight when you go trick or treating, and so on and so forth). Remember, when you feel the prickly things on the back of your neck, and the tiny hairs on your arm stand up, it's "them". In the immortalized words of Carole Anne Freeling (the little girl on Poltergeist), "They're heeeeeeere!"

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A Voice in the Shadow
By Cindy Mey
Oct. 28, 2004

    Friday the 13th. Maryanne rushed home fighting the fierce wind bolting through her rained drenched hair. Step by step, hoping only minutes later she would see her house. Finally her face glowed with utter joy as she scrambled through her purse to find the key to unlock the door. The blood- rushing thunder made her more anxious to get inside. The air was eerie and quiet as the scent of peppermint drove her to a desperate joy because there is no place like home after a long, long day. Unusually, she set her belongings down cautiously, like a child on a deserted island she sought for a sign of life. Pondering to herself, " I guess nobody bothered to come home. Oh yeah baby, the house to myself!"
        A voice called from the shadows in the distance near the rusty vase behind the walls, " Sweetie, pour me a glass of ice-cold water."
        "Oh man, I thought I had the house to myself!" looking as though she just took a shower with her clothes on, she dragged her frigid body to the kitchen and carefully poured the voice a glass of ice-cold water. She heard a sweet, soft breath whisper things she could not make out. First, she thought she was hearing things, then at the same exact spot it gently whispered and it made her skin crawl intensely. She turned around and yelled, " Stop it already you are freaking me out!"
        "Honey hurry up!" screeched the voice again, she couldn't recognize who the voice belonged to.
        "Just a sec," replied Maryanne. She walked down the long, narrow hall quickly, as if a person were forcing her to be swift. Suddenly, the telephone rang startling her. "Hello?" she answered. As she waited for a reply she saw a figure standing down the hall. She dared not look.
        "Hey, there sweetheart. This is Uncle George, I should have called earlier, but anyways, your father had left me a note on my door and he told me to tell you to take good care of the house while he was away on a business trip in Los Angeles. Call me if you need anything. Love yah. Bye now."
        "Oh my god, so who wanted the ice-cold water?" It had to be something else, out of this nature. Like a blitzing football team, she bolted through the hall and out the front door in a jiff, dropping the glass of water. Aimlessly running from home she slipped a fell on the street where she was hit by a passing truck.

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Left Behind to Die
By Sarah Hofman
Oct. 28, 2004

    It was a cold fall night in the little town of Townfalls. Brian and his girlfriend Sara and their best friends Shawna and Mark all decided that it was a great night to go ghost hunting. So they hopped on Sara's computer and searched the ghost house web site that had all the haunted houses in their area. When they found the best spot, which was just in the next town, they got the directions and jumped into Sara's car and headed out. It took a good half hour to get to the haunted house and they pulled up to the huge fence. Brian and Mark jumped out to see if they could push open the gate. Surprisingly they were successful, so they got back in the car and they all drove up the long driveway to the house.
    Once they got to the house they could feel something wasn't right, but they went along anyways. They all got out of the car and immediately the girls grabbed on to the guys out of fear. Brian and Mark just looked at each other and laughed at the girls for acting like chickens. The couples walked up the creaky steps to the spider web covered door. They figured it was locked, but to their shock the door opened with little effort. All the windows were boarded up so there was very little light inside, so they all turned on their flashlights and made their way through the deserted rooms. . Once they got to the kitchen, the guys let go of the girls and began walking behind them, so Shawna and Sara clinched on to each other. Then all of a sudden a plate flew across the room and broke on the wall right in front of them. The girls screamed and ran out of the kitchen into the hallway. They were so scared that they just kept running aimlessly. They didn't stick around to find that it was Brian who had thrown the plate.
    The guys took off to find the girls, searching through every dark cold bedroom, but they couldn't find them…then they got to the first bathroom, where they found the girls huddled on the floor crying. The guys reassured them it was just a joke. Reluctantly, the girls went with the guys. While they sat crying the girls thought of a plan to get back at the guys, so they continued the their little hunt, but didn't have an encounters with a ghost. So, they made their way out to the car. Before they got in the girls told the guys that they had forgotten their flashlights and asked the guys to go back and get them. While the guys were back in the house Sara and Shawna started up the car and drove outside the gate and waited to see the scared guys run out. But they just sat there with no sight of the guys anywhere. Five minutes went by……….. and still nothing. The girls started getting worried. Sara turned the car around and drove back up to the house. They got out and went back into the house.
    Screaming out their names as loud as possible "Brian" "Mark"!!!! They got no response and were terrified. They began looking room to room, but still nothing. They reached the basement where the door was open. They figured that the guys had to have gone down there. Cautiously, they went down the stairs, searching for the guys. The guy's scent still lingered in the moldy basement, so the girls knew they were close. They crept around the dusty boxes and old things left behind. They finally came to a door that led outside. They went out and immediately the cold air chilled their breath. Sara spotted something a little ways out. As they got closer they saw it was four tombstones with fresh dirt on two of them. They began to get closer to try and make out what was engraved on the stones. To their dismay one said, "Here Lies Brian left behind to die" and the other "Here lies Mark Left behind to Die". The girls began to cry. Then Sara stopped abruptly and said, "Then who are the other graves for?" she looked up and read, "here lies Sara and here lies Shawna" on the stone of the two open graves. The girls just looked at each other, and felt someone breathing down their necks. From that day on any person that stayed behind was left behind to die and were never seen again.

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The Curse of the Moo
By James Walker
Oct. 28, 2004

    All Hallows Eve, dark and intimidating, and a time of strange happenings. One such event, involving a small child of thirty, occurred in an equally small and remote town east of Philadelphia…on a dairy farm. And not just any dairy farm, but El Rancho de Onacursedindianburialground, the most prominent in all the land. Yes…it would be here that little Dr. Brownayae would meet his end(?) at the hooves of Jack Michaelson, the cursed cow of Onacursedindianburialground.
    It was a normal enough night to start. The skeletons were walking their dogs, and the little goblins were break dancing on the sidewalks, nothing that would ever suggest the horror that was to come.
    Dr. Brownayae stepped from his upper lower middle upper lower class home for evening inspection of the cows, commenting as he went, "Red cow, carnivorous cow, and look, the green cow. Gotta love green beef, you do, chocked full of vitamins and essential narcotics." Everything seemed in order, but as he walked he ran into a very strange sight indeed: a white cow with black spots…and red glowing eyes. Such a strange sight that the child had to take a look.
    The child walked up to the cow, and appraised it quietly. Still, at the end he was baffled completely, there was no explaining its strange, sinister black and white pattern. In fact, the only thing remotely understandable about it were those eyes…
    "Moo," said the cow, suddenly.
    Dr. Brownayae was shocked, "Oh my god! You can talk?"
    "Moo," replied the cow.
    "What do you want from me?"
    "Moo."
    "Why are you here?" cried the child in terror.
    The cow took a step forward, "Moo."
    The child ran away in fright, lest anything happen to him, but half-way back to his house…
    "Moo," and the cow was standing in front of him.
    Now the child was truly frightened, "What do you want from me? Leave me alone." He sat down and curled into a fetal position.
    "Moo!" the cow cried angrily(?) in response to the child's strange comment. "Moo…" And with that the cow picked up his glaive…took a few closer…and closer…and closer. Then, he raised it up and…!
    The next morning they found the child of thirty, hanging upside down from his gutters, alive but with his arm mutilated beyond all recognition. The sheriff was horrified.
    "Tim?" he asked tentatively to the boy, "Are you okay?"
    The child, Dr. Brownayae, stirred slowly from his slumber and looked up(?) at the sheriff, "Huh? Wow, that was some wild party last night, I must have passed out up here."
    "What? You weren't at the party. You aren't even allowed within ten miles of the city," retorted the sheriff.
    "Oh yeah…I wonder why I'm up here…" Dr. Brownayae said, as he stood up to jump down.
    The sheriff shrugged, "Well, you seem alright, but you should probably put a bandage on that arm. See you around, man." And with that he the sheriff climbed into his car and drove off, not knowing this would be the last time he would see the crazed child?
    But all unaware of what had happened, the child walked inside and bandaged his arm. Then he settled into his recliner and turned on the TV…
    "Moo," said the cow…
    "Moo," and the cow was standing in front of him.
    Now the child was truly frightened, "What do you want from me? Leave me alone." He sat down and curled into a fetal position.
    "Moo!" the cow cried angrily(?) in response to the child's strange comment. "Moo…" And with that the cow picked up his glaive…took a few closer…and closer…and closer. Then, he raised it up and…!
    The next morning they found the child of thirty, hanging upside down from his gutters, alive but with his arm mutilated beyond all recognition. The sheriff was horrified.
    "Tim?" he asked tentatively to the boy, "Are you okay?"
    The child, Dr. Brownayae, stirred slowly from his slumber and looked up(?) at the sheriff, "Huh? Wow, that was some wild party last night, I must have passed out up here."
    "What? You weren't at the party. You aren't even allowed within ten miles of the city," retorted the sheriff.
    "Oh yeah…I wonder why I'm up here…" Dr. Brownayae said, as he stood up to jump down.
    The sheriff shrugged, "Well, you seem alright, but you should probably put a bandage on that arm. See you around, man." And with that he the sheriff climbed into his car and drove off, not knowing this would be the last time he would see the crazed child?
    But all unaware of what had happened, the child walked inside and bandaged his arm. Then he settled into his recliner and turned on the TV…
    "Moo," said the cow…

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Best places to trick or treat
By Sandy Chhin
Oct. 28, 2004

Halloween is drawing so very near, and you know what that means. That's right, time to go Trick or Treating. Perhaps your parents are kind enough to drive you all the way down to L.A. while you're all dressed up to receive money from a millionaire. "This one time when I was five, I was Batman and my mom took me to Beverley Hills and this one lady gave me a twenty dollar bill!" says Junior Alex Deanda. Still, there are lots of wonderful places around Colton to go Trick or Treating.
    "The best place would be where all the big houses are at in Grand Terrace, Honey Hills," says Senior James Lintern. Honey Hills is a great place to go Trick or Treating because that's where a good number of huge houses are located. Huge houses equal tons of candy and tons of candy equal cheerful times.
    A big dilemma that others have had to overcome when Trick or Treating in Honey Hills is that there are lots of hills to hike up and down from. So, if you're out of shape and don't really feel like having to catch your breath after every hill, I recommend Trick or Treating in Cooley Ranch instead.
    Cooley Ranch in late October is so full of Halloween spirit that it is almost horrifying. The residents of Cooley Ranch have imitation spider webs decorated in their front bushes, spooky sound animations, synthetic witches hanging on their front porch and an actual size Jason doll sitting in a chair by the entrance. Those people aren't joking around either; they get down and dirty.
    So now you know where some of the best places to go Trick or Treating, but where are some of the worst places to go?
    Frankly, there is no particularly bad place to go Trick or Treating. I know you've most likely heard this billions of times from your parents, but who says it hurts to hear it a billion and one times?
    The Golden Rule: Only stay in places you're familiar with, be responsible and don't consume candy if it's been unwrapped, or if it's been homemade either. Have a safe and fun Halloween!

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Quick Costume Ideas
By Sean Durdle
Oct. 28, 2004

Once again it is time to play dress up. The only day that makes it socially acceptable for men to dress up like women or vice versa. For some of us, buying a halloween costume is a must. For the rest, I'll be giving some quick fix ideas which may or may not be the coolest costumes, but they work. For more costumes go to www.costumeideazone.com
IRS Agent: Wear a business suit, carry a briefcase, take 28% of the person's candy without saying "thank you."
Deviled Egg: Wear all white. Paint or attach a yellow circle to your stomach. Wear devil horns and carry a pitchfork.
Darth Brooks: Wear western clothes with a cowboy hat, and carry a guitar. Then add a Darth Vader mask.
Castaway: Take an old pair of khaki pants and tear off the legs to create shorts. Wear a dirty white T-shirt, beard and long hair. Carry a Wilson Volleyball (for extra effect put a red handprint and face on the ball).
Static Cling: Wear any kind of mismatched clothes, pin one pant leg up, pin dryer sheets on you as well as socks, small towels, etc., and then use hair gel to make your hair look like it has static.
Lightning Victim: Take old clothes, cut out some holes, then carefully burn the edges. Tease your hair so it sticks straight up, smudge your face and any exposed skin with black make-up.
Little Dead Riding Hood: Wear the usual Little Red Riding Hood Costume and then use fake scars, wounds and blood to make it look like the Big Bad Wolf got you. Don't forget your basket!
Chest of Drawers: Pin underwear to your shirt. Works well with a formal looking business suit.
Spa Princess: Put a mud mask on your face, wear a bath robe, paint your toes and wear toe separators, put your hair in a turban towel.
Killing Time: Hold a clock and a fake bloody knife. Or, dress up as a giant clock with a fake bloody knife in it.
Got Milk?: Wear a sign that says "Got Milk?" and paint a milk mustache over your lip with make-up or other non-toxic white substance.
God's Gift to Women: Wrap yourself like a present using romantic wrapping paper. Attach a large tag that says "From: GOD To: WOMEN."

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Fortune Cookies
By Shauna Pardo & Sarah Hofman
Oct. 28, 2004

Hey classes I know you would just love to see some fortunes that we picked out for you from the famous China Town in Hollywood. The quirky thing about China Town is that the fortunes come straight from famous movies. So enjoy what we have picked for you….

Freshmen:
"You're not cool unless you pee your pants." (Adam Sandler as Billy Madison in Billy Madison)

Sophomores:
"Stay clean, stay strong, if you do the booze you lose." (Adam Sandler as Sunny Cofax in Big Daddy)

Juniors:
"Fish are friends, not food." (The Shark in Finding Nemo)

Seniors:
"More people will come to the party if you say you'll have punch and pie." (Eric Cartman in South Park)

Well folks, there you have it. A bit of advice for our own Colton High students. Freshmen, you're new so we're helping you out. Sophomores, take our advice and remember it! Juniors, don't forget to catch the new movie Shark Tale, you'll find out you're not alone. And finally, but definitely not least: seniors, parties are all we have left, so live it up baby! Well, catch you guys next time where the fortunes will be coming from famous Hard Rock Café.

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Homecoming week in review
By Shauna Pardo
Oct. 28, 2004

Monday October 18- "Hello Walk" court announcements: Paul Heredia, Amanda Serrano, Ruben Aguayo, Marisa Arieta, David Sanchez, La'Tasha Terry, Mike Taylor, Lizzell Guiterez, Phong Pham, and Monica Garcia are named to court.
Tuesday October 19- Powder Puff: as every year, the freshman played the juniors and the sophomores with the seniors. The first game at first lunch consisted of sophomores vs. seniors, only a nine minute game, the sophomores made a startling defeat over the seniors; 7-0. Second lunch was the freshman vs. juniors. The juniors prevailed 42-0 in a full half- hour game.
Wednesday October 20- The carnival was held inside the gym due to weather, but still was carried the same.
Thursday October 21- In the final Powder Puff game, the juniors defeated the sophies 21-0.
Friday October 22- This year's pep assembly was held 6th period with only one assembly attended by the whole school. It was held at Memorial Stadium instead of the Hubbs gym. And even though we had the entire stadium, it was a tight squeeze. But with all these new changes, they had time to keep one of our timeless traditions at our beloved Colton high school: all first-year varsity football players had to wear dresses and do a little dance. 5 :00 p.m. was the homecoming parade from Colton Middle back to Colton High, presided over by Grand Marshal Counselor Sean Davis. And for our homecoming game against Redlands High School, duh... we won, with Lizzell Guiterez announced as our homecoming queen.
Saturday October 23- The Homecoming dance, a pretty decent turn out. Its Halloween theme, "A Romantic Nightmare," went well with the crowd when they saw Dracula, some witches and even a ballerina. But the winners of the custom contest were senior Travis Boyd with his unforgettable "Pimp" suit; and for his detailed pirate outfit, Mike Van Aken. Finally, the Homecoming King was announced: Mike Taylor.

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Movie Review: "The Grudge"
By Jacilyn Alcantar
Oct. 28, 2004

    Running an hour and 28 minutes long, "The Grudge" will definitely keep you on the edge of your seat. Produced by Sam Raimi (Spiderman and Evil Dead), and directed by Takishi Shimizu, "The Grudge" is actually an American remake of a Japanese film written by Shimizu.
    A curse is passed along when someone dies in the grip of a powerful rage. Anyone who encounters the curse must die, and with each death, a new curse is born. Unfortunately, Karen, played by Sarah Michelle Gellar, encounters this curse while training to become a nurse as a foreign exchange student in Japan along with a few other victims; Jason Behr (Roswell), Clea Duvall (The Faculty), and Bill Pullman (Independence Day, and Spaceballs). Karen is assigned to substitute for a nurse who has mysteriously gone missing. She must take care of a senile woman who lives in the house where this curse was born. The actors give good performances, however the elongated scenes of suspense might actually be more nailbiting than the climaxes they lead up to. The sounds and the music will freak anyone out.
    Rated PG-13 for gore and frightening images, this movie is directed towards teens and adults. In this film you not only have to worry about a dead girl (who yes reminds us all of Samara from The Ring), popping up everywhere, but you also have to watch out for her son, a cat screeching little boy named Toshio who Karen finds locked up in a closet, and an angry husband who is holding a mean "grudge". Overall this is a frightening film just in time for Halloween that will make you jump, squint your eyes, and perhaps even scream.

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New work policy
By Julia Arenas
Oct. 28, 2004

A new work experience policy, introduced to teens the first week of school, is cracking down on students. Now with a D or an F in any class you may be dropped from the work experience class, or depending on the situation, you could be put on probation. A student who is dropped from Work Experience cannot legally work outside of school. Principal "Doc" Ervin had the idea for this new policy when, coming to this school, was very surprised at the number of teens working outside jobs and having low academic marks.
The new work policy has students with jobs scrambling to complete schoolwork on time and of a better quality than perhaps before. Work Experience Coordinator Manuel Rodriguez feels the policy is a good one. "It will keep the students on the right path. You shouldn't be working a job if you can't keep up with your studies here at Colton High," he says. This is not a quick decision made by just the principal. This is a very serious decision that goes through a numerous amount of people. The three A's that the administrative team has to look at and discuss are "Academics, Attitude, and Attendance." They do not always pull the permit. A period of observation and monitoring is done around when the quarter grades come out. Progress reports will be studied, and teachers will be talked to at this time. While this is going on, a student may still work, but grades have to consistently improve. If the situation to pull the permit has enough merit, the permit will be pulled, and the student may not work. They must improve their grades; when that is done then they may work to get their permit back. "I can't let you get a D or an F in class then tell you it's o.k. to go out and work." says Ervin. He wants to promote "high expectations" and have academics come first. He firmly believes it's not about lowering the standards for those who struggle, but "raising the bar" and helping those who struggle achieve to the highest point of success. It may seem like punishment to kids, but Ervin feels that it's up to us to get the good grades, not him. According to him, if we are failing it's because we choose to fail. Preparation for the "real world" and becoming academically better is his goal for Colton High. It is said that high school people get a lot of breaks and slides concerning deadlines and homework; the plan is to get us ready when we are going to college and getting jobs. No one is going to cut us a break, so why should they in high school? This is what Ervin is trying to say by making this new policy. There isn't a doubt in his mind that the teens of Colton high can do this, that is if they work for their success in the classroom first. There is not success in work if you can't finish your daily homework. He has a lot of confidence in the students. He doesn't believe a lot of teens will be dropped, that most will try harder. Ervin says, "I'll never lower my standards for anyone. If you can't meet the standards, then I'll help you meet them. The students of Colton high are intelligent. They will rise to the occasion."

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Staff Profile: Ms. Lucas
By Jacilyn Alcantar
Oct. 28, 2004

    "I am very shy. Most people in my classes don't believe me when I tell them that," says Jennifer Marie Lucas, sophomore English teacher at Colton High School. Born and raised in Lynwood and Long Beach, where she attended Etiwanda High school and Pitzer College, she majored in English. Not surprisingly, Lucas has always wanted to pursue a career in journalism; however, she loves teaching here at CHS, meeting new personalities everyday and receiving help from the rest of the English staff.
    In just three words Lucas describes herself as shy, indecisive, and overwhelmed. For a shy person, Lucas has a very eventful life, having traveled to Florida, The Caribbean, Morocco, (that's in Africa), Spain, and England. Traveling is one of her favorite hobbies among reading of course and hanging out with her 11 year old daughter, Kaitlynn Lucas.
    What do teachers do on Halloween? "I'm planning to go to an elaborate costume party," says Lucas as she moves her hands animatedly to describe her vision of this party. She plans to dress up as Little Red Riding Hood.
    Having been a student of Lucas's last year I have caught a hint of the shyness she speaks of however I also saw a sophisticated speaker who does not talk down to students and gives you the feeling that you are speaking with one of your friends and not a teacher. Shy or not Lucas is an interesting and friendly person.

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Student Profile: Xyryl Malit
By Michelle Choiselat
Oct. 28, 2004

    "I would rather remain silent and seem stupid, than open my mouth and remove all doubt," says the soft-spoken Xyryl Marie Pasco Malit, who lives by the previous words. Being ranked third in the senior class, and the highest-ranking girl, it is doubtful that anything stupid would ever leave her lips.
    Sure, ranking in the top one percent sounds easy enough, but she maintains her high G.P.A while simultaneously making time for the tennis team, National Honor Society, reading for AP English IV and sleeping.
    She hopes to attend University of California, Berkeley or Los Angeles and plans to major in architecture. If that plan doesn't work out, "I'll be a teacher, and come back to Colton to teach," she says. She'd also either like to start her own business or become a part of a large corporation.
    Senior Chi Ho, a good friend of Malit's, since sophomore year, knows that there is more to her than just excelling in Academics. She says that, "Xyryl is really consistent in her work, but as a friend, I see a different side of her. A side of fun, wicked sarcasm." Inside that reserved persona lies a witty girl with a great sense of humor.
    Malit enjoys many things, "I like hassling my little brother and sister. I try hassling my older sister, but she's scary," she says. She also enjoys playing videogames and using the computer.

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Useless Column
By The Honey Team
Oct. 28, 2004

We (The Honey Team Staff) felt that you guys can only read so much of our opinions and our news stories. So, we created this mixing bowl of nonsense for your reading pleasure. Enjoy!
    DID YOU KNOW THAT:
·    A human head remains conscious for about 15 to 20 seconds after it is been decapitated.
·    Over 2500 left-handed people are killed each year from using products made for right-handed people.
·    A dentist invented the Electric Chair.
·    Ancient Egyptians shaved off their eyebrows to mourn the death of their cats.
·    Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously - it can kill you.
·    On average, right-handed people live 9 years longer than their left-handed counterparts
·    When a person dies, hearing is generally the last sense to go. The first sense lost is usually sight. Then follows taste, smell, and touch.
·    A sneeze can exceed the speed of 100 mph.
·    Blondes have more hair than dark-haired people.
·    By age sixty, most people have lost half of their taste buds.
·    By the time you turn 70, your heart will have beat some two-and-a-half billion times (figuring on an average of 70 beats per minute.)
·    The fastest typist can type at 211 words per minute.
FUNNY PHILOSOPHIES
·    It's true that every time you hear a bell, an angel gets its wings. But what they don't tell you is that every time you hear a mousetrap snap, an angel gets set on fire.
·    Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing.
·    The next time I have meat and mashed potatoes, I think I'll put a very large blob of potatoes on my plate with just a little piece of meat. And if someone asks me why I didn't get more meat, I'll just say, "Oh, you mean this?" and pull out a big piece of meat from inside the blob of potatoes, where I've hidden it. Good magic trick, huh?
·    If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
·    Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
·    If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?
·    When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

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Girl's tennis and golf
By Paul Heredia
Oct. 28, 2004

Girl's tennis and golf look to stay positive and end their seasons on a winning note. They both are struggling to gain a victory, but they don't look back and keep taking one game at time striving to find that groove.
Girl's tennis was going strong after a big win over Fontana, and looked to improve each week. But, as the girls lost to Eisenhower they continued to struggle. They lost their next three matches: their final preseason match to Rubidoux, and their next two season matches against AB Miller and REV. Looking to make a big turnaround the girls stayed strong led by junior captains Andrea Ramirez and Ana Rackatan, and beat Fontana for the second time. With a sense of new life the girls went into their next match looking to gain some momentum, but fell short to Yucaipa followed by another loss to Redlands. Heading into the CBL Prelims on Monday November 1st, the girls tennis carry a 1-6 record in league and a 2-6 record overall.
Girl's golf went into their game against Redlands looking for their first victory of the regular season, but fell short. Still looking to win a game in CBL the girls stayed positive led by coach Thomas Mainez, and pulled out a victory over Eisenhower. The girls tried stay strong against Rialto but suffered a devastating loss. With the taste of victory still within them, the girls went into AB Miller got their second win in league, followed up by four consecutive losses to REV, a preseason game against Serrano, Yucaipa, and Redlands, giving them a record of 2-6 in league.

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Homecoming Game
By Paul Heredia
Oct. 28, 2004

    The Yellowjackets made homecoming one to remember in their 36-28 CBL win over Redlands. With the win, Colton proved that they deserve to be in Division 1(coming off previous seasons in Division 5).
    In front of a crowd of 3,000, Colton took sole possession of first place in CBL, in what was a game to remember for both the players and fans. An interception by senior Marcus Frazier set up Colton's first touchdown. Junior Allen Bradford finished the play off with a 23-yard touchdown, his first of three. With Colton down 12-8, Senior Travis Boyd scored on an 11-yard run, Bradford added 2 points, and Boyd scored from the 7 yard line to make it 22-12 at half. With a 22-20 lead in the third quarter Bradford ran a 70-yard touchdown to make it 28-20. With the game tied 28-28 in the fourth quarter junior quarterback Bradley Sorensen threw a 27-yard pass to senior Shareece Wright, topped off with Bradford's winning touchdown to make it 36-28. Colton is a game ahead of Eisenhower for first place and they have proven to those that doubted they belong in the CBL. They are now the team to beat.
    In Colton's first CBL game they beat Redlands East Valley 28-15, which some say was the game to see who was going to take the CBL title. Going up against Fontana, the Jackets blew by them by a final score of 50-0. With great confidence and momentum Colton blew out Yucaipa in their second shut out 53-0. With a record of 4-0 in league and 6-1 overall, Colton has first place heading into Eisenhower tomorrow, where if they win, they can clinch no less then a tie for the CBL title.

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Volleyball and Cross-Country
By Paul Heredia
Oct. 28, 2004

Volleyball and Cross-Country are looking to end the season on a winning note. Volleyball is looking to get on track and pick up a few wins before their season comes to a close. Cross-Country is looking to end their season with a winning record and go strong into the CBL Finals.
Volleyball gained their first win of the regular season three games to two in a victory over Fontana. But, just as the team looked like they were coming together they went into a slump losing their next five games. They lost a preseason match to Rubidoux three games to none followed by two regular season game three games to none from Yucaipa and Redlands. Then the girls tried to pull one out against Eisenhower, but were shut down three games to one. The team then came up against Rialto losing three games to one. Lead by co-captain Diane Lopez, Colton pulled out a victory three games to one over AB Miller. Winning the first two games the girls could see the victory in sight. Losing the second game the girls stayed strong and finished it off with a win in the fourth game to win the match. They followed it up by two devastating losses to REV and Fontana. Their record is 2-7 in league heading into Rialto on Tuesday, November 2.
Cross-Country is 2-2 in league lead by coach Karen Lazarus and senior captain Mario Alvarez. With a loss to Yucaipa, the team was looking to get their first win in league against Fontana. And that's what they did with a victory over Fontana the team looked to gain some momentum and confidence. Heading into Eisenhower they evened their record to 2-2 and looked on to their next victim. Due to the rain their match against Rialto was postponed. Heading into the CBL finals on Wednesday, November 3, Colton looks to keep their confidence high and come away with a victory.

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